Graduate school is hard work. Full-time teaching is hard work. Having a family is hard work. Being pregnant is hard work. Right now, I’m doing all of the above and hard work is just beginning. When I announced my pregnancy to a few of my colleagues, they joked “you must like doing things the absolute most difficult way” and, on paper, it does appear that way. I’m one of those people who stays busy and juggles a lot of things in life (a “turkey platter” person, if you will). The funny thing is that people always assume that I do it alone. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Though I feel like I’m spilling a personal trade secret, I think it’s important for teachers new to the classroom to understand one thing: you can’t do it all on your own. No matter how much personal responsibility you assign to each task, at the end of the day, someone else helps you somehow.
Some readers may think, “no, I do it all on my own,” but you don’t. If you ever talk to someone about how hard or frustrating or rewarding things are, that person helps you process your feelings before those feelings eat you alive. If you have ever had copies made by someone else, they have helped you manage your time. If you have ever received an encouraging word from a colleague, administrator, or student, they have momentarily rebuilt your self-esteem by validating the hours you spend trying to make a difference. The beauty is that these relationships are reciprocal. If you have ever forwarded an email to someone who accidentally deleted it, you helped them manage their time. If you have ever offered an encouraging word to the teacher across the hall, you reminded them why they come back every day. If you have ever shared organizational strategies with a student or parent, you have helped that parent through a roadblock.
The second thing new teachers need to understand: it’s okay to ask for help. There’s the fear of seeming incompetent if you ask for help. In fact, the strongest people are the ones who can confidently say “I need help.” Your pride will be hurt far worse when someone points out that you’re struggling than if you ask for help. If you have ever been at a school, you know the teacher I’m talking about. It’s the one other teachers sympathetically talk about, usually saying “I offered to help but she/he said they had it under control.” (Take heart, new teachers, it’s not always the new teacher they are talking about; veteran teachers are equally susceptible.) But, the whole faculty, and maybe even the staff, know that this teacher doesn’t have it together. Very rarely will you hear water cooler gossip along the lines of “did you hear that the new teacher asked the instructional coach for help?” The teacher that has asked for help is typically the one referenced with comments like “can you believe it’s their first year and they’re doing so well?” So, if you need help, ask for it. (I will advise against bursting in the door screaming “HELP ME!” Rather, ask for opinions … you’ll save a little face.)
My life is crazy right now. When people ask me how I do it, I suddenly hear Joe Cocker in the background singing “I get by with a little help from my friends …” (yes I know The Beatles originally sang it but I grew up watching “The Wonder Years,” enough said). My husband, who stays at home with our son, does the cooking, most of the laundry and even some of the cleaning. The teacher next door to me helps me navigate the new curriculum I’m teaching this year. I help her by giving her my lab materials when I’m ahead of her in the lesson plans. I give someone a hug who looks like they’re worn down and they tell me how little I look for being in my second trimester.
The bottom line is that we were never meant to do life alone. Even though the classroom feels like an island, there’s no shame in sending out an S.O.S.. Often times, it’s the only way to get back to the mainland alive.
If you’d like to learn more about how to become a teacher and make a difference in your local community, contact our Admissions office at 888.MAT.1USC or email us at matadmit@usc.edu.
